You Had One Job!

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DUDE!!! You work for NASCAR! You are the head of the leading auto racing association in the world! The one crime you just cannot do at the head of an auto company of any capacity is DRIVE UNDER THE INFLUENCE!!! Talk about a public relations nightmare! Feel bad for your PR Manager. Have fun with this one! Driving Under Idiocy in this case…

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France’s career status for the moment

Only You Can Prevent Gas Station Fires…

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Some genius early Monday morning attempted to set a 7-11 gas station on fire in Staten Island, New York. After pumping gas into a canister, he continued to pump the fuel all over the ground and the gas booths. He lights a piece of paper on fire and puts it in the canister which promptly explodes into flames; nearly incinerating the perpetrator in the process. Fortunately, gas station extinguishing systems immediately put out the flames to prevent further damage. Police are still searching for the would-be arsonist.

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Zombie Raccoon Virus

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We kid you not. Of 26 raccoons found dead inside the park since June 24, two tested positive for the canine distemper virus, which doesn’t affect humans but can spread to un-vaccinated dogs, officials with the city Health and Parks departments revealed on Saturday. The other 24 are believed to be infected by distemper because their deaths were clustered in such a short time and area.

Parks staff also have witnessed distemper symptoms in living raccoons. “They looked like they were circulating, wandering, having spasms,” said Dr. Sally Slavinski, an assistant director at the Health Department. “Some of the raccoons had some sort of nasal discharge.” Raccoons with distemper act strange — appearing tame or confused before losing their coordination, becoming unconscious and sometimes dying. They can also get aggressive.

So keep Fido on a leash, or the Canine Apocalypse may be upon us…

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