You Mean There Was Another Awards Show?

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Taylor Swift is dressing as a disco ball for Halloween

The American Music Awards – that awards show which is to the Grammys like the Golden Globes are to the Academy Awards – aired last night, and surprise, surprise, very few watched it.

(Hell, we didn’t even know it was on)

Anyways, here’s a list of some of the winners:

Artist of the year was Taylor Swift, the human mirror-ball pictured above

New Artist of the year went to Camila Cabello, the lone name among the nominees that didn’t look like something from an Ebonics lesson (the others were Cardi B, Khalid, Dua Lipa and XXXTENTACION. God Bless You…)

Collaboration of the year also went to Camila Cabello with Young Thug for the song “Havana” which hopefully they know is a place in Cuba. Havana also won Favorite Pop Song and Video Of The Year, but good luck finding where you can watch music videos these days.

Tour of the year went to Taylor Swift as did Favorite Female Artist and Favorite Pop Album.

Post Malone won Favorite Male Artist. No word yet if Pre Malone may have been better.

Migos won Best Pop Group. Kane Brown won Best Male Country Artist. Carrie Underwood won Best Female Country Artist (a name we actually recognize!). Florida Georgia Line won Best Country Group. Cardi B won best Hip Hop Artist (watch out for the flying shoe!). Khalid won best Male R&B Artist while Rihanna won best Female R&B Artist. Panic At The Disco! won best Alternative Rock Artist and Shawn Mendes won best Adult Contemporary Artist.

Black Panther won Best Soundtrack of the Year.

There’s more awards, but take pity on us. We don’t want to post any more on this crappy subject…