Teenage Senators Just Wanna Have Fun

After the traumatic and demoralizing Kavanaugh hearings last week, we saw an interesting tactic used by the Democratic Senators on the panel. They actually went back and used Brett Kavanaugh’s high school yearbook against him. Establishing an alleged pattern of behavior, they questioned the nominee on various terms found in his Georgetown Preparatory School yearbook.

We at These Terrible Times decided to see if we could find anything of interest regarding various Democratic Senators and their yearbooks. Here’s what we found:

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We found Dianne Feinstein, then known as Dianne Goldman sitting in the same exact position as we found her sitting during the Kavanaugh hearings. Talk about a fun lady. Apparently, some things never change.

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Kirsten Gillibrand, Democratic Senator from New York and apprentice to former NY Senator Hillary Clinton as well as NY Governor Andrew Cuomo is pictured here from her all female boarding school in 1984. She is wearing the exact outfit you’d expect any privileged young woman born with a silver spoon in her mouth would be wearing. It’s The Facts Of Life.

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Democratic Senator Amy Klobuchar wrote some strange codes in her 1978 high school yearbook. She talks about Whoppers, Janitor Angels, F.C.T.F. and groovechicks. F.C.T.F.? If Kavanaugh’s FFFFFFFourth Of July is a code for “Find them, French them, Feel them, Finger them, F*ck them, Forget them”, then we figure that some of those words are part of F.C.T.F. Can we get Alan Turing in here?

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Why it’s Senator Cory Booker pretending to be Cowboy Troy! In the very least, it’s about as far from the Spartacus look as you can get in this photo. Nothing very incriminating here either, but Booker already told his alma mater’s news journal The Stanford Daily in 1990 that he hated gays growing up. He also admitted to groping a drunk female friend at a New Years Eve party in 1984. So he’s got enough on his plate.

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Ahhh Dick Durbin, such a handsome, clean cut young man with impeccable high school credentials. You’d never know he was slaughtering animals in his off time. The bloodletting probably went a long way towards cutting down opponents in Congress.

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Kamala “The Headhunter” Harris! She’s got some interesting code in her high school yearbook as well. We think she may be a part of the Illuminati. Harris was born in California, but went to high school in Montreal, Canada. Her mother was a Tamil Indian and her father was Jamaican. Not to start that Obama stuff again, but we may want to see a birth certificate.

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Here’s Senator Tim Kaine, the former Vice Presidential running mate of Hillary Clinton, making fun of Asians back in high school.

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Wow, Bernie Sanders! Even then, he looked like he was plotting to take your money and give it to someone else.

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Uh oh Senator Sheldon Whitehouse! The Democratic Senator from Rhode Island seems to have the most damaging high school photos of all! Isn’t he the one that scrutinized Brett Kavanaugh’s yearbook the most? Seems Mr. Whitehouse was involved in plenty of toga parties and binge drinking himself. Looks like he and his friends are looking for a little boofing or devil’s triangle themselves. What say you Senator hypocrite?

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Politics. Gotta love ’em…

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