New York Mets Suffer Worst Loss In Team History

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The New York Mets baseball franchise, already in the midst of an absolutely terrible season, hit rock bottom tonight as they were clubbed by the Washington Nationals 25-4, making it the worst loss in the club’s 56 year history. Starter Steven Matz gave up 7 runs in the first inning and the rout was underway early. By the 5th inning it was 19-0 and pitching for the first time in his career, Jose Reyes gave up another 6 runs in emergency relief during the 8th inning.

Talk about insult to injury. Maybe the Mets should have traded some of those starters at the deadline today to build a new team….ANY team but this team!

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Happy National Avocado Day!

To celebrate the day, Chipotle offered free guacamole with any entree purchased online. The promotion was so popular that it crashed the company website leaving many in the cold. Angry customers missing out on their avocado fix took to social media to vent their frustrations. Even competitors like Qdoba got a burn in:

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Can’t have food safety concerns when you can’t get to the food!

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Only You Can Prevent Gas Station Fires…

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Some genius early Monday morning attempted to set a 7-11 gas station on fire in Staten Island, New York. After pumping gas into a canister, he continued to pump the fuel all over the ground and the gas booths. He lights a piece of paper on fire and puts it in the canister which promptly explodes into flames; nearly incinerating the perpetrator in the process. Fortunately, gas station extinguishing systems immediately put out the flames to prevent further damage. Police are still searching for the would-be arsonist.

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Jaws Of Life

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A 16-inch female horn shark named “Miss Helen” was taken during a heist at the San Antonio Aquarium that aquarium officials said was no spur-of-the-moment, let’s-steal-a-shark thing.

“The suspects staked out the pool for more than an hour” to wait for the right moment, the aquarium said in a statement. They proceeded to steal the shark by placing it in a baby stroller, then left the facility as water dripped behind them.

The search for the young female shark, led police Monday to the home of a man who maintains an extensive collection of marine life, according to the police chief of the San Antonio suburb where the aquarium is located. Miss Helen was safely returned to the aquarium Monday evening.

One man has been charged with theft and charges for two other individuals are pending.

Brings new meaning to the term “jumping the shark”…

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7/30/18 – Image Metaphor Of The Day

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The New York Jets have finally signed their #1 draft pick, quarterback Sam Darnold out of USC, following delays over contract language. The deal is approximately $30 million for four years. The Jets hope they have a franchise quarterback in Darnold who will bring many successful years to the team.

Who are we kidding? It’s the Jets. Enjoy it now fans – once the season starts, it’s all downhill from here…